


Stay

by shirewalker



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Floor Sex, Fluff and Smut, Smut, anti mal, lol everyone else appears but it's mostly cameos, nikolina smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:14:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7974793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirewalker/pseuds/shirewalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Alina almost leaves Os Alta with Mal but a new heartache makes her stay.<br/>There's someone else she longs for, and it's not the man she's leaving with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

 

 

It was a fine day. The sun was out and the sky was clear.

Yet the city of Os Alta was silent in grief. They had lost their sankta far too soon…

 

* * *

 

Alina and Mal were finally leaving, but their friends were accompanying them to the borders of the city.

 

* * *

 

With every step they took away from the palace, Mal’s back grew straighter, more confident.

With every step they took away from the palace, Alina’s shoulders slumped lower and lower.

 

* * *

 

Parting with the Little Palace and Os Alta and the Grisha… and… Nikolai… her heart was already aching with the idea of leaving a place that she’d called home for so long. Of leaving—

Her final goodbye with Nikolai had left her dazed.

He’d pulled her into a hug, so tight she thought they’d fuse together. She hugged him back, relishing on the heat of his body. And then… then he’d kissed her cheek, a sweet, light kiss that had lingered for longer than Mal had enjoyed. She could still hear his throat clearing. But what still felt even clearer was the touch of Nikolai’s lips on her skin… There was a light fluttering in her stomach as she relived that moment once more.

Alina turned her eyes back to the palace, the building growing smaller and smaller. She half-hoped to see Nikolai riding a horse in their pursuit. Her imagination grew wilder then as she pictured him stopping the group and asking her to stay. No, begging her to stay.

Her heart skipped a beat and for a second she felt like she was dying.

“Alina?” Genya whispered close by, worry all over her features.

Alina looked back at her friend, feeling panic spread through her body.

“Are you ok, Alina?” the Tailor insisted. Alina looked back at the palace, no longer seeing it. A startled breath escaped her lips and she looked at Mal, oblivious to it all, and then at Genya, and she silently begged for help.

Her friend gestured to Zoya and the two made a ruckus over the beautiful scarves that they’d seen a few stands back. Alina simply couldn’t leave without one. Mal glanced back once. He smiled at Alina but she didn’t see it, her eyes already locked on the palace.

“Ok. What’s going on?” Zoya asked, putting a perfectly manicured hand on her hip. Her blue eyes searched Alina’s but the girl refused to look at her, or Genya.

“Alina?” Genya insisted.

“I… I don’t feel so good…” she finally said, her voice meek.

“Clearly…” Zoya said, “Does it have anything to do with… stealing glances at the palace every two seconds?” she dared, exchanging a secretive look with Genya.

Alina opened her mouth to deny but found no words…

“Or…” Genya started, her golden eyes locking on Alina’s, “Nikolai not coming with us?”

Alina’s breath halted at the name and she quickly looked away. “I… I don’t know… Suddenly… suddenly the idea of not seeing him every day makes me feel… heavy and sick in the pit of the stomach… I don’t know why…” she explained. Genya and Zoya exchanged another look.

“Oh… What is it?” Alina demanded, their secretive looks irking her now.

“Alina… Maybe… Maybe you should stay?” Genya offered.

“Or at least go talk with Nikolai? Clearly there are some feelings left unresolved.” Zoya suggested with a shrug.

“Wha? Ther—There are no… feelings left unresolved!” Alina complained, her words coming out too fast and too loud for her taste. She felt her cheeks grow hotter with an unwarranted blush.

Zoya lifted a perfect eyebrow, obviously not believing the white haired girl’s words. “Clearly…”

Alina turned to Genya, but the tailor looked at her the same way.

“Girls… You can’t possibly…”

“Hey! Is everything all right?” Tamar asked, having turned back. Nadia came as well, the two girls with their arms entwined.

“Alina here is having second thoughts on her… love life.” Zoya said, with a slightly amused tone.

“What? No!”

“Really?” Tamar asked, a new glint in her eye, “Is it Nikolai?”

Alina looked in panic at her. This couldn’t be happening.

“Oh, come on Alina. There is clearly something going on between you two. And to be honest, I never saw Nikolai acting the way he acts when you’re around.” She added, immune to Alina’s complaints.

“Like what?” Genya asked, intrigued.

“Oh you know… He acts a little more… Responsible. Sometimes a little more reckless too… But most of the time it’s like he stands taller when she’s around.” Tamar explained. “And you look happier with him around too. Even if sometimes you may punch him too.” She added, turning her attention back to Alina.

“I…” she was at a loss. She did feel… lighter with him around, that much was true, but… “What about Mal?”

Zoya rolled her eyes but remained silent.

It was Nadia who spoke, “Alina… have you thought that maybe you just held on to him because you knew each other for so long? Because it was… a safe bet?” she said, her mouth curling into a sheepish smile.

She felt dizzy.

“Alina?” Mal called her in the distance and a new sense of dread took over her.

“It’s now or never Alina. You have to decide…” Zoya told her before turning to the scarf seller.

 

* * *

 

Nikolai sat barefoot by the fireplace, lost in thought. His gloves were discarded, his shirt unbuttoned. The intricately embroidered jacket laid forgotten on the table. After Alina left he didn’t really feel like facing anyone, at least for a little bit…

What an educated fool he was! Why couldn’t he… do something? Something other than a hug and a kiss on the cheek… How embarrassing. And how harder his life was going to be now…

The memory of her skin under his lips still burned. He could still feel her warmth. He could still smell her hair… oh, how it smelled of summer mornings… He closed his eyes, imagination taking him to a life of waking up to that wonderful scent.

He should have begged her to stay.

But… it was her decision to make after all… And she wanted to go with Mal…

A bitter taste climbed up his tongue as he remembered the tracker’s attitude before the Darkling’s attack on Os Alta. How he mistreated Alina for having power and enjoying having it and wanting to help Os Alta and the remaining Grisha. How he made decisions for her. Nikolai shook his head clear of those thoughts. No use on dwelling on that now… Although… if he even as much suspected the tracker had hurt Alina… well…

A knock.

It took him a few heartbeats before he got up to open the door, his voice too tired to speak.

For a moment he thought he was delusional. It couldn’t be… She was halfway gone now…

“Alina?”

The girl stood there in front of him. Her hands wringing themselves dry as she bit her lower lip nervously. For a second he felt tempted to kiss it, to take it within his own lips. There was a violent pink tinge to her cheeks, as if she had been running. Her eyes were locked on him.

“I…” she finally spoke, her voice ragged, “Can we… can we talk?”

Nikolai simply nodded before stepping aside and letting her in. He was stunned. Why was she here?

“Is everything all—” Nikolai started, but was soon silenced when Alina grabbed his face and kissed him.

Her lips were tender but hungry as she kissed him thoroughly.

He couldn’t believe what was happening.

And then she sighed into him, and he got lost and kissed her back, sighing as well, as if his body had been dying to breathe her in.

After what felt like an age, Nikolai finally broke the kiss, millions of questions swarming in his mind. Alina looked flushed, her lips swollen from kissing. She was a vision…

“Why did you come back?” he asked, trying to sound calm. To no avail, his voice hoarse and lustful.

“I… I couldn’t leave…” she whispered, her voice equally hoarse. That sound did funny things to his insides, just like when she would smile after a successful trial or even when she snarked back at him. Saints…

“Why? Wha—What about Oretsev?” he made himself ask. The king didn’t really care about the tracker, but… he needed to know… “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dreamed about this for…” he cleared his throat, an embarrassed blush bursting in his cheeks, “for a while… But… Alina I—”

Her lips, her excruciatingly tempting lips, curled into a mischievous smile, “How long?”

For a second Nikolai was tempted to tell her everything, but there was still the tracker matter and he steeled himself to ask again, “Alina… Where’s Mal? Shouldn’t you be halfway out of the city by now? With him?” he closed his eyes then, afraid of seeing a look of sadness or pity. Saints… She probably came back for a goodbye kiss or something. Or he was just too far gone in his sleep, dreaming about Alina coming back and kissing him. There was no way that she had come back simply because it was her heart’s desire… Was there?

“I don’t know where he is… I… kinda left him behind…” she answered, her voice meek and bitter.

 

* * *

 

“What do you mean ‘ _I’m not sure I want to leave_ ’?” Mal demanded, a hand holding her elbow, his grip a bit too tight.

“I’m sorry Mal… but… I can’t leave Os Alta… Not yet…”

Mal tightened his grip and she let out a whimper. His eyes burned with anger and jealousy. “Is it him??”

“What?”

“Nikolai” he hissed making Alina flinch with his tone. Just a minute ago he’d been so… happy.

“No! I mean, not entirely. Mal…” she begged, forcing her arm out of his grip. “I love Os Alta and the Little Palace. Our friends are here! Can’t… Can’t we stay?” there were tears in her eyes now that she’d voiced her thoughts. Mal’s look didn’t waver for a second. If anything, it only grew more dangerous.

“I thought you wanted to leave. To go back to our old and peaceful life.” He said in a cold tone.

“That… That was before…”

“It was our plan!”

“Maybe it’s not my plan anymore…”

“Alina…” he growled, making to catch her arm once more.

Something snapped inside her and she took several steps back. “Don’t touch me.”

“Alina… do you really think he still wants you now that you’re not Grisha anymore?” his tone grew venomous. A tear streaked through her face, his words and demeanour hurting as badly as they had so many months ago in this very same city.

“This isn’t about him.”

“No? And it has nothing to do with his royal status either?”

“He being a king has nothing to do with me wishing to stay, Mal.” Her voice grew steely, hard as her heart and mind started to see through Mal’s façade. Her old friend would never have said this things in the past. But also, in the past he had never seen her as a possibility for dating, not until she was out of reach… And when she was… She was still not good enough, was she? How could she be so blind?

“Well… stay if you want. I don’t really care. But don’t come crying to me when he’s done with you!” he spat.

She squared her shoulders, “Well… don’t come crying to me with apologies and tattoos and claims of how I’m your flag when you want me again. It’s pathetic. And I’m worth more than that.” She bit out before turning her back on him and walking out the little alley they’d been in.

 

* * *

 

“Oh… But I thought you wanted to leave this place…” Nikolai said, remembering her parting words on how she wasn’t built for big cities and courts.

A single chuckle left her lips, “Me too…” a long silence spread between them, the fire crackling in the fireplace, before she spoke again, “What if I changed my mind, Nikolai?”

Saints… the way she said his name was enough to have him on his knees, ready to give up the entire kingdom just to hear it again…

“About… what?”

“About leaving. What if… What if I wanted to stay… here… with you?” she added, her voice just a breath now. Alina dared a step forward and when Nikolai didn’t move, the man too stunned by her words, she dared another step.

“Alina… Are you… Are you sure?” he breathed, willing his hands to stay down, to not spring up and hold her close and kiss her and hold her and kiss her…

She didn’t answer, making a question of her own instead, “Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”

That was unexpected… “I did…”

“ _Again_. Why didn’t you ask me _again_? Why didn’t you kick and fight for me to stay? Mal and the Darkling played all their cards… Why didn’t you?” now that was something that had bothered her. When he kissed her back, she knew it was because he wanted her. So why hadn’t he fought?

Nikolai offered a sheepish smile before taking a breath and answering her, “Because it was your decision to make. Not mine. I... It didn’t matter if I wanted you to stay… You’re the one who should wish to stay, not me.” He took another breath, “Even if keeping you around would have made me happier…” he added, his voice just a breath now.

Oh.

That… that took her by surprise… A happy warmth took over her, her stomach flipping several times in consequence. Nikolai had put her needs and wishes above his own, even if he was the king and could, with a flick of the wrist, order her to stay.

“You…” she started but quieted again.

When Alina didn’t speak again, Nikolai dared to look at her. But instead of finding her startled or turning to leave, he found her taking a step _towards_ him, her hands moving to his face, cupping it and pulling him down. He wouldn’t believe she was kissing him again if he hadn’t witnessed it all.

She pulled back a little, resting her forehead on his, “You’re an insufferable idiot, and you know that, right?”

Nikolai chuckled and opened his mouth to say something, but then she kissed him again. Her kisses ranged from hungry and feverish to light and feathery. Her lips, hot and soft, glided over his in a dance that seemed to never end. She prodded him with the tip of her tongue and with a soft moan Nikolai opened his lips, letting his own tongue snake out to catch hers.

His hands held her close, cinching her waist as is she was his lifeline. Alina let hers travel to his neck and up his hair, feeling the soft texture of the blonde locks move through her fingers, almost like liquid gold. She pulled it lightly and a soft groan escaped the king’s throat, making her smile. That sound was awfully arousing and a new heat spread through her body, lodging itself down between her thighs.

Nikolai’s lips left hers and she took in a new breath of air. Somehow it palled to his own and she whimpered in blind need of his air, warm and familiar. His lips traced the length of her jaw, feather-light kisses being planted between every heartbeat. She felt the tip of his tongue play with her earlobe before he moved to the spot where her blood was drumming fast. A loud and unfiltered moan left her lips in reply, his movements too sensual for her to tame her reactions.

His hands moved upward. No… one moved down to cup her butt and another moved up until it found the nape of her head and it dug within her hair. She giggled when he kneaded on her skin, electrifying jolts spreading in waves from his hands. More moans escaped her lips, when he kneaded a little harder, and at the same time his lips found the hollow between her collarbones, the top buttons of her traveling coat already undone. She threw her head backwards, an aroused groan forming in her lips.

Saints… Nikolai’s lips were working magic on her skin, in her blood stream. Her heart was so full of something new and bright she felt like bursting.

“Nikolai” she breathed, her voice close to a purr. His name tasted like sweet nectar on her lips, she could say it forever and she would never get tired. “Nikolai” she said again, a smile spreading through her features when he closed the very last gap that separated their bodies. She could feel every inch of his body against hers and a new hunger grew in her stomach. She wanted him, she needed him.

“Nikolai… make love to me…” she nearly begged.

The king froze for a second, her request taking him by surprise. She opened her eyes and found his own, hazel and glazed with lust, locked on hers. They were questioning… “Are you… Are you sure?” he finally let out, his eyes briefly moving to her pink and swollen lips.

She bit her lower lip and his throat bobbed in desire. “Yes. Certain.” It was her turn to gulp, “I want this… I want… you.”

He bumped their foreheads, making her giggle, before he spoke again, “I want you too…” he smiled then, a devilish smile, “you firecracker.”

Alina giggled again, “Firecracker?”

“Yes. Firecracker.” He nodded, their foreheads rubbing together in an awkward but endearing way. She bumped their noses. “You’re petite and have a snarky mouth. A deliciously snarky mouth might I add.” He continued, his devilish smile growing more visible.

“Hmm… I like that…”

He kissed her then, his hands finding their way to the buttons of her coat. The heavy fabric hit the floor with a muffled sound.

Alina moved to his shirt, ripping it open in her haste. Her traveling clothes pooled around her feet as Nikolai removed layer after layer, his lips never leaving her skin. She closed her eyes and moaned, relishing on his touch and the way her body reacted so positively to it.

She hastily removed the rest of Nikolai’s outfit until there was nothing separating her body from his. She licked her lower lip as she took in the sight, Nikolai’s body much more defined than she’d ever expected. His eyes roamed her figure as well and a satisfied smile grew on his lips, “Saints… you’re even more beautiful than I’d ever imagined…” he let out.

Alina giggled, a new blush finding its way up her neck, “Thank you?”

He flashed her his devilish smile and kissed her again.

Before she knew it, Nikolai was picking her up and taking her to the fluffy rug by the fireplace, settling her down with such a gentleness that she felt the air being knocked off of lungs. No one had touched her like that before… It felt new and fresh.

He kissed her passionately before moving down and picking up a foot. Soft kisses were planted all over her length, drawing sweet melodic sounds out of her lips. Alina writhed in excitement and pure pleasure under his touch, her body and mind forgetting anything else other than her, the fireplace and Nikolai. His hands, his kisses, his body.

His hands cupped her breasts, “Yes…” she moaned once before he bent down and teased her nipples with the tip of his tongue. Her back arched in response, a groaned moan leaving her lips. Her hands held onto the rug, his tongue teasing and teasing her. “Nikolai… please…” she begged, for what, she didn’t know, but he quickly trailed kisses down her stomach.

Nikolai swiftly kissed her inner thighs before he brought his hands down to spread those milky legs of hers open. Alina sighed, eagerly awaiting his next step. His thumbs grazed on her centre, her skin tingling with the light teasing touch.

“Oh!” she let out, her hips buckling forward when his tongue finally touched her folds. The tip teased her clit before moving in and out in a dance that was turning her brain into mush. “SAINTS!” she gasped when a particularly timed flick almost drove her over the edge. She could feel Nikolai’s smile against her skin, the man utterly pleased with the sweet reactions he was drawing from her. “Nikolai… Oh… Nikolai! Please… yes… yes… YES!” she moaned, loud and lost in pleasure as his tongue expertly followed all of her nonsensical directions all the way until she was coming undone, her body burning with the power of her climax.

She was panting, her breath coming out laboured as Nikolai licked her clean. Saints… he was… he was brilliant…

Alina felt the need to voice her thoughts, not caring over his ego growing a little too large… When he came up, his eyes glazes with lust, she breathed, “You’re quite the expert, Lantsov…”

He flashed her a smug smile before pecking her lips, “Really, Starkov? Better than any previous… lover?” he dared, an unknown fire burning in his eyes.

“So much better… I can’t even remember what I enjoyed about it…” she answered, her voice growing huskier with every word. Nikolai licked his lips, his smile only growing larger with her words, before he captured her mouth within his own. He sucked on her lower lip, slowly and deliberately, drawing new moans out of her sweet, lush lips.

Alina dug her hands in his soft hair, pulling it lightly with every pull of his own. She bit him playfully before breaking the kiss, “I thought I asked you to make love to me, Nikolai… When is that happening?” she breathed.

“Hasty, aren’t we, Alina?” at the sound of her name in his voice, Alina closed her eyes and let her head fall back, humming in delight.

“Nikolai… do you want me to change my mind?” she threatened under her breath, her hands still savouring the touch of his hair. “Please.” She begged when all he did was kiss her neck thoroughly.

“As you wish, my dear…” she said, his voice hoarse, his breath hot against her skin.

Nikolai kissed her again, his hands cupping her face tenderly. And then she felt it, him, sliding inside her. Alina sighed against his lips, elated with the sensation of having her too clever fox inside her.

He moved then, sliding in and out, painstakingly slow at first. She thrust against him, “Harder…” and he thrust back, his rhythm and strength growing. Alina let out a loud and round “Oh!” with every thrust.

Their rhythm grew faster, their moans louder and then all Alina could think of was Nikolai and his body and his kisses. And all Nikolai could think of was Alina and her kisses and her moans. The world melted away, nothing else mattered. Just the two them.

“Nikolai!” She screamed his name as she climaxed again, her nails digging deep into his strong shoulders.

A moment later Nikolai shuddered, his own climax coming for him and he too screamed, “Alina!” her name tasting deliciously fresh on his tongue.

 

* * *

 

The firelight reflected on the emerald as she turned it back and forth, playing with the light. It was almost as if she was summoning light again…

“It is rather beautiful…” she mused, her eyes watching the ring on her finger.

“Only because you’re wearing it…” Nikolai commented, his hand absentmindedly playing with strands of white hair as they flowed through his fingers, softer than the richest silk in the world.

Alina scoffed and turned an arched brow to him, “That’s a rather lame line Nikolai… What, did you waste all your cleverness in turning me into mush?” she teased.

“There’s only so much cleverness I can give out in one day, my dear Alina…” he replied, a corner of his mouth curling into that devilish smile of his. “Mush?”

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t get too cocky.”

“I’m not.”

“Huh huh, sure.” She rolled then, lacing her hands together before she placed them on his chest and rested her chin there. His hazel eyes were hooded, sleep threatening to take him away.

“You’re so beautiful…” he mused, more to himself than to her, as if the man couldn’t quite believe she was here, in his arms.

Alina smiled embarrassed, not sure what to say in reply. He was beautiful, but somehow it didn’t feel right to say it right now. “I love your eyes…” she let out instead. Not much different than saying he was beautiful… Alina guessed her brain was losing to sleep as well.

Nikolai hummed, happy with her compliment. He then stretched a hand and grabbed a heavy blanket from the armchair he’d been sitting on, all those hours ago. “We better get cosy, I can feel my body giving in to sleep.”

Alina curled against him, placing his arm around her waist before she laced their fingers together. The blanket felt almost too warm, but the sensation of being cocooned like this with Nikolai was so pure and blissful she quickly ignored that first reaction.

It didn’t take long for the two to fall asleep, two kindred spirits finally having found home in each other.

 

 


End file.
